In Which I Play with Sharp Objects

Me: I really shouldn’t be allowed to use knives at all.

Ed: Why do you say that?

Me: Well, if I’d been using the Cutco or a Pampered Chef knife, I would’ve sliced my finger wide open just now.

Ed: You really shouldn’t do things like that.

Me: I know. It’s like my life isn’t already interesting enough or something.

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