Ode to Villains: A Valentine’s Day Poem

Second post in one day. This is a new record for the last couple of years.

In case you missed it, I just posted the first installment of my Valentine’s Day poetry tweets. Those were the random ones. Below for your enjoyment, please find the ones that make a full poem (of sorts). Since Valentine’s Day partly originated in death and wickedness, an ode including some favorite villains seemed appropriate.
; )

Not to mention that any story is only as strong as its villain. So if we want to write stories with impact, ‘twould behoove us to pay close attention to these guys!

Courtney’s Ode to Villains

Roses from Red
Ultron brings circuits
Q, galaxies
Loki can work it

Lestat takes a nibble
Dexter, his slides
Sylar’s like clockwork
Hook offers rides

A Sweeney shave’s cozy
New Khan’s the best
Spike charms your…socks…off
Jareth tops all the rest

Lucifer, charming?
Never a doubt
Deadpool brings on the laughs
–Roguish lout

Hell-royal with Crowley?
Hades has flair
Gaston’s got the chin
Lucius, the hair

All of the villains
In our good graces
Might vanish us dead
Without any traces

😉

#HappyValentinesDay

billopus

Movies, books, and hobbits

Hile, my beloved inklings. I hope this finds you in fine fettle and pie.

This is yet another post that has gestated long in my Drafts folder. Its conception occurred when I watched the first of Peter Jackson’s Hobbit movies, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, and then read John Scalzi’s review of the same. Since that all happened a few minutes ago, I won’t go into review mode concerning that movie specifically. Instead, here are a few thoughts about Jackson’s Hobbit films, Tolkien’s The Hobbit, and, in brief, my position on books vs. movie versions.

Jackson’s Hobbit Movies

I love them. Unabashedly. Radagast is ridiculous and drives me a little batty (bird poop? really?). I wanted the Beorn scene to go more like the book (dwarves arriving two and three at a time). I might be forgetting my appendices and Silmarillion, but I’m not entirely sure what Galadriel and Legolas are doing in this trilogy. The Tauriel-Kili romance seems gratuitous and far-fetched.

But Radagast isn’t there for me. He’s there to make the kids laugh. The Beorn scene as Jackson filmed it makes far more sense in the movie than would Tolkien’s far, far slower (dragging?) approach. Galadriel makes a great addition for showing us the grave, behind-the-scenes power struggle of Good vs. Evil (as opposed to the more light-hearted material we get from Bilbo and the dwarves). Legolas…well, what would a Middle-Earth movie be without our resident surfing elf, he of the subtly snarky facial expressions?

And I adore Tauriel. She’s a hero, she’s vulnerable, she’s conflicted, desperate, determined, passionate, soft, and unyielding. She’s a female character with power and influence over the course of the story, which is something Tolkien missed the boat on. Another good reason for including Galadriel as well. Two female characters with agency aren’t nearly enough, but they’re better than none.

Side note: Seeing Galadriel’s story brought to the big screen would be FABULOUS. BRING IT, JACKSON.

So, although I admit that Jackson’s movies do have their issues — both internally and from a Tolkien-canon standpoint — I still enjoy the heck out of them. Besides, Martin Freeman is the utterly perfect Bilbo, Richard Armitage is brilliant, and Benedict Cumberbatch is exactly the Smaug I’ve always pictured. It just doesn’t get any better.

Side Note II: Jackson’s trilogy is so superior to the 1977 Hobbit, it’s barely worth mentioning, but for one element. The 1977 version of Gollum terrified me at age 9 to the point that I refused to watch the movie again until I was 16. And since then, that 1977 Gollum has remained the creepiest version of the character that I’ve ever seen. I adore Andy Serkis’s performance, but that animated Gollum from 38 years ago will always be my monster in the closet.

Tolkien’s The Hobbit

I didn’t read the book — or any of Tolkien’s works, for that matter — until I was in my mid-teens. Likely, this “delay” came about partially because I was scared of Gollum and didn’t want him in my head any more than necessary. But part of the reason was that I picked the book up at age 12, found the style of writing dull, and put it down again after reading the first page. Looking back, I find this peculiar, as I maintained an advanced reading level throughout my childhood. Why I didn’t “get” Tolkien back then is a mystery to me. When I picked up LotR a couple of years later, I enjoyed it thoroughly. So I don’t know what my deal was with Hobbit.

In my mid-teens, I came across the book at a German bookstore. I wasn’t interested in reading it in German. I wasn’t interested in reading it at all. But I did wonder why the Germans shelved this book in the children’s section. I’d been a child and tried to read it without success. Silly Germans. Imagine my surprise when I followed where curiosity led and discovered that American and British publishers considered this a children’s book, as well! Stuff and nonsense!

So, at age 17? 18? I read The Hobbit, loved it, and admitted that maybe this did qualify as a children’s book. Maybe my 12-year-old self wasn’t as highbrow a reader as she’d considered herself to be.

Books vs. Movies

There is no “books vs. movies.”

It’s apples and oranges. No. Not even that, because film and print are more different from each other than that. If we’re gonna stick with food metaphors: Books are meat and potatoes, and movies are lasagna.

I heartily enjoy meat and potatoes.
I heartily enjoy lasagna.

I can’t like one more than the other. I enjoy each at different times and for different reasons.

Both are food, but their forms are different. They require vastly different ingredients. They require different seasonings and cooking times and cookware and serving dishes. They belong to different cultures. One person will always like lasagna best. Another person will always prefer meat & potatoes. (What’s taters, precious, eh? What’s taters? >>PO-TAY-TOES.) Comparing one dish favorably over the other means stating that one person’s tastebuds and brain are superior to another’s, and that just ain’t gonna fly.

I can’t sit down to a meal of lasagna and complain that there aren’t french fries in it. Well, I can complain — but everyone will peg me as a lunatic or a bumpkin. “Don’t take Courtney out to dinner — she’ll gripe that there isn’t any sushi in the center of her cordon bleu.” I can’t order meat & potatoes and then demand to know what happened to my sausage & ricotta. It doesn’t make any sense to expect the ingredients of one dish to be mixed into another dish.

In the same way, I’ve decided it doesn’t make any sense for me to compare books and movies. Characters that work great onscreen aren’t going to function the same way on paper. Pacing that is comfortable and familiar and readable in a book is going to be deadly dull in a film. Events a writer has time to portray in a 600-page novel just can’t take place in a 140-minute movie.

The recipe for a book won’t translate directly to film. Just as directly translating German to English can result in ridiculousness, so can directly translating a book to a movie. The 1977 Hobbit pretty much tried this, and the result was a cute but not fantastic movie. Watchmen suffered translation problems. (I will say it has more issues than that, though.) From what I’ve heard, The Great Gatsby did, too; I can’t judge because I hated the book and haven’t seen the movie. But I’m sure any one of you can think of great examples where a book-to-film movie flopped because it contained too many book ingredients and not enough movie ingredients.

So I don’t compare books and their movie versions anymore. If it’s a good book, great. If it’s a good movie, great. I take each for what it is and don’t expect the same from either. It makes my mental life easier and allows me to enjoy more of the entertainment available to me. I can’t complain about that.

But What’s the Because?

So, I didn’t intend to write a blog post for today, even though I usually do post on Thursdays. But, as you might’ve noticed, I moved last weekend, so my new home looks like a hoarder lives in it. I need need need to fix that. Plus, I’m cooking birthday dinner for my mommy today! Therefore, no blog post.

But

Then, I read/watched From Inspiration to Creation, today’s blog post by Chris Brogan, and I got all inspired to share a brief thought with you.

What’s the What?

In his post/video, Chris talks about taking an idea — and then deciding what to do with it. Does he want to use it to generate more interest for chrisbrogan.com? Or does he need to expand it into something more business-y for kitchentablecompanies.com? Or is this idea better fodder for something else entirely?

So, the first question he asks himself is: What’s it for?

Keep It Simple

Chris’s question reminded me of one of my favorite movies: The Boys Next Door with Nathan Lane, Robert Sean Leonard, Courtney B. Vance, Tony Goldwyn, Michael Jeter, and Mare Winningham. (I list them to distinguish the movie from another with the same title.)

In this movie, Tony Goldwyn plays Jack, a social worker who oversees the care of four mentally challenged men who are trying to live in a non-facility home. Just thinking about this movie makes me tear up, because it’s so sweet, so funny, so heart-warming, so devastating, and so triumphant.

And I haven’t watched it in far too long, so I can’t remember what’s happening in the scene I want to quote from. All I can remember is that Jack is trying to communicate something to Lucien, the most severely challenged of the four men.

Lucien (played by Courtney B. Vance in a stunning performance) can’t understand the reasons behind what Jack is telling him. In his simple way, Lucien asks:

What’s the because, Jack?

What’s the Because?

Combining Lucien’s simplistic worldview and Chris’s business sense, I come to this conclusion:

Whatever you’re publishing online — especially if it’s a blog post, an article, or a piece of creative writing, first ask yourself why you’re doing it.

Do you want to help someone?
Is this the answer to someone’s question?
Did you read something someone else wrote, and you think your spin would benefit others?
Are you marketing yourself? Your services? Your product?

Are you just listening to yourself talk?
Have you seen others post on this topic, and you want to ride someone’s coattails on the bandwagon?
Did you write this because it seems like the popular thing to do (but you don’t really have a passion for it)?

You put something together in a nifty package, and you want to share it with the online world.

But why?

Truth

Answer that question — find your because — and you’ll gain clarity about all sorts of things. Your target audience. Your writing process. Your thinking process.

If you’re honest, you might even gain clarity about yourself. And gaining that kind of clarity enables you to serve others better.

It makes you a better human being — and a better human living.

______________________

So, what’s your because?

Why do you do what you do? Write what you write?

Have you always asked yourself the whys? How has this habit made you a better person?

Let’s talk. : )