Courtney’s Most Official Rules for Living

Once upon a time, I started keeping a list of “rules” I wanted to remember. These were tidbits and insights I picked up from daily life and might need more than a mental record of. Writing them down would let me refer back to them at a moment’s notice.

So, I snagged a used notebook my mom had inherited from a student at the end of the school year, ripped out the used pages, and got to notating.

As of this writing, I’ve noted 220 Official Rules. I likely have a few more to go.

So, without further ado or adon’t, here are a few of my personal favorites:

From “Courtney’s Most Official Rules

7. Never apologize for your beliefs.

8. Never apologize for your opinions.

9. Never be condescending to small children — or to anyone else, for that matter.

10. Remember that the direction of the toilet paper is over the roll, never under.

11. Eat vegetables.

13. Always make sure there is cold milk in the fridge.

14. Remember that there are two sides to every story.

15. Don’t spread rumors.

20. Never pull the labels off a friend’s coke bottle.

25. Be nice to cats and dogs.

26. Be optimistic.

28. Don’t lay wet clothes on dry shoes.

29. Don’t lay dry clothes on wet shoes.

31. You can buy chocolate, but you can’t buy money.

32. Never forget to wear underwear.

33. Don’t sneeze on your roommate’s clean laundry.

34. Ask permission before doing disco housecleaning.

35. Never buy $25,000.00 trucks you can’t afford.

36. Never say goodbye.

37. Always say au revoir.

38. Never do today the projects you can put off until the night after they’re due.

39. Always tango in the kitchen.

43. Don’t let the room intimidate you.

44. You can never own too many pairs of underwear.

45. Grow science experiments in the bottom of your refrigerator. Cheese and veggies work best.

47. Don’t use your pillow to bludgeon your roommate in your sleep.

49. Burps are better than farts.

53. If you let someone dare you into eating a worm, you must get them to believe that you enjoy it.

56. Take money from your spouse — taking it from strangers could make them angry.

57. Wear clogs.

60. Sing along to elevator music.

62. Communicate.

That’ll do for now, I think.

But don’t worry.

There’ll be more sharing of Most Official Rules to come. ; )