You can’t be bad at art.

When it comes to art, even personalities that aren’t perfectionist suddenly descend into weird, nit-picky hangups.

“It doesn’t look right.” “It doesn’t look real enough.” The one who never alphabetizes her books will develop a dire need for right angles and even planes. The one who can’t keep his pantry in any semblance of order will agonize over brushstrokes that refuse his attempts at realism. “I can’t make it look the way it does in my head.”

“I can’t.”

More demoralizing, discouraging, and disheartening words probably don’t exist in the art world, whether you’re talking visual arts, writing, music, or performance. Artists in every medium and of every range of experience maintain this mental image of what their art should be — usually in comparison to someone else’s. “I can’t” — because nothing they produce ever measures up to that ideal they’ve carried around probably since childhood.

“They.” What am I talking about? This is a case of “we,” for sure, because I’m one of those artists.

Talking to Yourself

There’s this thing called the Self-Talk Cycle. Maybe you’ve heard of it; I can’t remember who first coined the term. But the Self-Talk Cycle describes:

how you talk to yourself about yourself in your head;
what emotions this engenders in you;
what actions you take based on those emotions;
what you tell yourself about yourself as a result of those actions;
and so forth.

Here’s a visual of what I’m talking about (click to embiggen!):
 

selftalk

 

So, imagine that you consistently tell yourself, “I’m bad at art. I don’t have a creative bone in my body. If I try this, I’m just gonna mess up. Besides, doing art isn’t productive. I shouldn’t waste my time or other people’s time.”

What we say to ourselves about ourselves always leads to feelings. How will you feel as a result of talking to yourself like this about your artist self? Your musician self? Your writer self?
Frustrated.
Overwhelmed.
Guilty for even thinking you could take the time for this.
Disappointed.
Angry with yourself.

What actions will you take as a result of these emotions?
Avoid your art projects.
Ignore your urge to create.
Dam up and wall off the impulses that lead to art, music, writing.
Block relationships with other artists, musicians, writers. Keep them at arm’s length so they don’t remind you of what you’re not doing. Heaven forbid they tempt you to try creating again.

What do you tell yourself about yourself as you take these unpleasant actions?
I’m alone.
I’m not as good an artist as ________, so they wouldn’t want to hang around me anyway.
I’m no good at art, music, writing. There’s no point in trying.
If I try, I’ll just waste people’s time.
I’ll just screw it up again.
I can’t.
I’m bad at art.

This circle is particularly vicious. It has teeth, and if you let it go on long enough, it will tear your spirit to shreds. (I should know.)

Don’t let that happen.

Fight that vicious, spirit-shredding monster with the Truth.

Here’s the Truth

You can’t be bad at art.

You can’t be bad at art.

You can’t be bad at art.

Read this and let it sink in:

Art is not about talent or skill. Art is about you. Spending time with you, getting to know you. Seeing parts of yourself that you love, some that you hate, but mostly parts that scare the very breath from your lungs. Art is not about technique or style. Art is learning who you are, and being brave enough to show the world. You can’t be bad at art, unless you are simply afraid to try. Art is a terrifying pursuit, because there is nothing more frightening than our own selves.”

~J.T. Hackett, artist
(@Jay_T1313)
(emphasis mine)

…and…

“When we say we are afraid to begin a project, we are actually saying something else: “I am afraid of how I will feel as I continue.” We do not want to start because we do not know that we can continue. It is not the start, it is the finish that troubles us.”

Julia Cameron

Part of the fear of beginning is the fear of being seen as a beginner…a novice or even an “inferior.” (I can’t remember where I originally came across this idea; possibly it’s more Julia Cameron.) Another part of the fear is fear of knowing ourselves. Fear is where the cycle of art-murdering Self-Talk begins. “It’ll never look right. I’ll screw up. I can’t…”

…because I’m afraid.

But you can.

Because you can’t be bad at art.

And you don’t have to let fear rule you.

Choose This Day Whom You Will Serve

That little subtitle there is a quote from the Bible, specifically from the Old Testament book of Joshua, Chapter 24. Some might accuse me of taking it out of context (though I really don’t believe that I am), but here’s the crux of it for this post:

You have a choice.

You can choose to be subject to fear.

You can choose to immerse yourself in the negative things you tell yourself about your art.

You can choose to obey your fear of being a beginner again.

You can choose to obey your fear of failure.

You can choose to serve your fear.

Or…

You can choose to be subject to freedom. Because that’s what art is.

You can choose life. Because that’s what art is.

You can choose to immerse yourself in speaking kindness, joy, peace, love, and beauty to yourself about your art.

You can choose the courage it takes to get to know yourself.

You can choose the courage it takes to show the world who you are.

You can choose to serve your art,

following where it leads,

even if it leads you to truths about yourself you didn’t want to know.

You can choose to serve your art,

thereby serving Truth and Life and Joy,

thereby serving Good and Light and Freedom.

Sometimes, following your creativity, following Truth and Light and Freedom, means looking into dark places. This seems a paradox, but it’s one of those universal paradoxes that crop up in our existence every so often.

Look into yourself, delve into the dark places, and find in them the Light.

“I know myself, and I will know myself further. I am brave enough to learn who I am. I am good at art. I feel free and strong in my art. And I am brave enough to show it to the world.”

You are everything you need to be, but you’re not there yet.

Become what you already are.
 

An Interview with Christian Smith on The Bible Made Impossible

Hello, my lovelies!

It’s been awhile since you’ve seen me around here regularly. I know, sweet things, I’ve missed you, too. Just a brief update: Pregnancy is going well, and Week 15 begins tomorrow. Nausea is receding, and energy is returning. Can I get a hallelujah?! It feels soooooo good to be back among the living!

I promise that come next week, you’ll get several, more detailed updates. But for now, today’s post shall step off the “Court Can Write”-beaten path. Today’s post shall showcase a little bit about something called faith.

If you’ve been Faithful Readers (and I know you have, you adorable dears, you), you know that I don’t talk about my faith a whole lot on this blog. The main reason for this is that “Courtney’s faith” is not the reason most of you visit me here. Most of you settle in for a virtual cup of coffee and the reading of All Things Writerly, as well as the occasional, (hopefully) entertaining anecdote.

But. If you’ve read my Demons of Saltmarch series, you also know — or have probably guessed, anyway — that faith is a cornerstone in the foundation of who I am. If you’ve read Demons of Saltmarch, a paranormal Christian fantasy series, you will also have noticed that this cornerstone is of a Christian persuasion. ; )

You might even have guessed, based on the themes in these novels, that my own understanding of the nature of that cornerstone has been in flux for the past few years.

I don’t want to go into a whole lot of detail, because that would take a whole separate site. What I really want to do is point you in the direction of fellow blogger Frank Viola. To summarize: Viola is a non-fiction Christian author who has written a ton of books, six of which I’ve read and which turned my belief system upside down — specifically so that a bunch of nonsensical traditional junk could spill out.

Recently, Viola blogged an interview with author Christian Smith concerning Smith’s book The Bible Made Impossible. I haven’t read the book yet, but what Smith and Viola present in their interview intrigues me. To me, who grew up in a denomination that touts (but does not actually adhere to) the famous line “speak where the Bible speaks, silent where the Bible’s silent,” the book’s title alone touches some chords offers a resonating challenge to a plethora of preconceptions. Some of the things Smith mentions in the interview directly contradict principles I was taught in church my entire life. To say this book would blow my mind is likely an understatement.

I’m adding it to my To-Read list.

You can read the complete interview with Christian Smith on The Bible Made Impossible here.

I recommend it if…

…you’re a believer who has questions about how to approach the Bible.
…you’re a believer who finds the title of this book offensive. ; )
…you’re a not a Christian but have questions about why Christians think/feel the way they do about the Bible.
…you’re not a Christian but would like a peek at a “non-traditional” take on a pillar of the Christian belief system.

You’re welcome to leave comments here, as always — but I encourage you to comment on Viola’s post as well. The comment threads on his blog generally contain some pretty thought-provoking discussions!

See you next week, sweet thangs.

C.