10 Things I’d Rather Do Than Fight a Zombie Elf

 

  

 This post is brought to you by the letter “Z” and was inspired by Consortium Books‘ upcoming short story e-zine, Consortium of Worlds, Vol. 1 (in which you can read my zombie elf short story “Dead Reconning”). 

  
 

10 Things I’d Rather Do Than Fight a Zombie Elf

In random order:

1. Fight a living elf
2. Make out with a non-sparkling vampire
   We all know how that would end, and it doesn’t involve vampiric vegetarianism.
3. Take afternoon tea with Gothmog (“Elephant Man” orc in LoTR film The Return of the King)
   Talk about one lump or two. Have you seen that guy’s face?!
4. Engage in a Worst Poetry Contest with a Vogon
   Internal hemorrhaging, anyone?
5. Listen to Rebecca Black’s “Friday” until my ears bleed
6. Work out to Richard Simmons’s Disco Sweat
7. Play hide-and-seek with Darth Vader
   “The stupidity is strong with this one.”
8. Clean the cats’ litterboxes
9. Catch a dragon by the toe
   If he hollers, you’re dead. Because he breathes fire and all.
10. Try to write a novel without any coffee

_________________

What about you? What would you rather do than fight an undead zombie elf?

Zombie Courtney created with “George A. Romero’s App of the Dead” app for iPhone.