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August 24, 2012 / Courtney / Random

In Which I Misuse Bananas

I have a new thing about bananas. Let me show you it.

So. As pregnancy progresses, one finds that sleeping becomes more and more of a difficultness.

Sleep Deprivation

For one thing, there’s the increased size of belly. It gets in the way of rolling over. It gets in the way of finding a comfortable position. And if I don’t keep a pillow under it to support it, there’s pulling and pressure and all sorts of achiness. And yes, I gotta be on my side because of circulation to uterus, blood flow to baby, and fun things of that nature.

Also, there is a small head now continually using my bladder as a pillow. Getting up three times a night to go to the bathroom is pretty standard nowadays.

The thing is, when I wake up to pee or to change positions, it takes me anywhere from 30 minutes to 3 hours to get back to sleep. The 3-hour thing is especially bad, as the illustration here illustrates in a most illustrative manner.

My Thing with Bananas

Last week, after a particularly restless night (i.e. one of the 3-hour I’m-awake-and-can’t-stand-it things), I felt groggy and blah beyond all reckoning. I fixed my breakfast, ate it, and then started cleaning up my dishes. I’d had a banana in my cereal. I picked up the banana peel and headed for the bathroom.

I picked up the banana peel and headed for the bathroom.

I still don’t know why.

What was I going to do with the banana peel in the bathroom? Let us not speculate. Let us not go there. Ever, ever, ever.

Yesterday, there was another banana incident.

Once again, I hadn’t slept. But still, I eventually rolled out of bed (this is neither exaggeration nor metaphor) and fixed my breakfast. The bacon was in the oven. The raw eggs were in the skillet, awaiting their scrambling. The cereal was in the bowl, awaiting its milk. I picked up the banana, peeled it, and commenced to slicing it.

I looked down.

I had sliced the banana not into the cereal bowl but into the skillet of raw eggs.

As one does.

For the record, I picked the banana slices out of the eggs and threw them out; sliced another banana into the cereal; cooked the eggs; and ate a yummy breakfast.

I’m afraid of what will happen the next time I can’t sleep.

What will the bananas have in store for me next time?

I wait.

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2 Commments

  1. Laurie Laliberte says:
    August 24, 2012 at 10:18 pm

    For the record, I was neither pregnant,nor sleep-deprived at the time I did that, but I chose to leave the banana in the skillet and cook it with the eggs. Drizzle on a bit of maple syrup, and you’ve got Dad’s favorite breakfast… sort of. (I’ve been told it’s a Canadian thing, but I have no way of knowing for certain.)

    Reply
    1. Courtney Cantrell says:
      August 27, 2012 at 2:37 pm

      Well, if I didn’t have food aversion stuff going on STILL, I would’ve tried it out just to see if it works. The maple syrup addition sounds cramazing. Ima hafta try this out for real in a couple of months! : )

      Reply

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Front cover of a novel. Title and author's name in white font with serifs, all CAPS. Title: The Priestess Murders. Author: Courtney Cantrell. The image depicts a gnarled tree reaching from the bottom left corner up the left side and across the top half of the image. The tree is silhouetted against a star-spangled, dark blue night sky. In the background (lower third of image) are leafy, densely growing trees dimly lit by what might be moonlight (light source not shown). In the center of the image is a honeybee viewed from above. The bee glows a pale gold and is surrounded by a nimbus if pale gold light. The bee also exudes rays of pale gold light reaching up and down and left and right. A gash is torn in the bee's thorax, and red blood trickles from the wound. Novel published October 2025.

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Courtney Cantrell: filthy chaos gremlin with vorpal unicorn morphing powers. She writes fantasy, sci-fi, and weird -- reads many, many books -- and questions ALL the things. Made of coffee, chocolate, and glitter glue.

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