resetting my brain AGAIN, definitely
Well, so far so good on the dopamine reset. Sort of.
I started these resetting shenanigans late Sunday evening. Early Tuesday evening, I opened up the Instagram app to check messages. Yes, I know I’m supposed to be avoiding social media. But I set myself the rule that this means doom/scrolling and doesn’t include private communication with actual humans. So.
On Tuesday evening, I checked DMs. I replied to one. I was done. And what happened next is that an eldritch demon from a hell dimension invaded my body, wrested away control of my thumb, and used said thumb to hit the “back” arrow within the app. And then, THEN that nefarious, crud-bescumbered zounderkite proceeded to SCROLL my Home feed and look at Instagram posts!
HOW DARE HIM?!?
Okay, okay. So the bescumbered, demonic zounderkite was me. ME, OKAY?! I was in the DM section of the app and I totally went on autopilot. THAT RIGHT THERE proves that this reset is a thing I NEED to do. For myself. For my health. For my life. That tiny incident proves that I have chosen to allow myself to be manipulated into a (subconscious?) belief that receiving input from social media is something I need so I don’t miss out on anything. (Thanks, Scott, if you’re reading.) That tiny incident proves that I’ve been using too much of my time and emotional energy in absolute mindlessness.
UGH.
This is not conducive to living intentionally.
This is the Eloi frolicking brainlessly while the Morlocks fatten them up and harvest them.
I’ve held the Eloi in contempt ever since I first saw the 1960 movie as a kid.
Now I’ve turned into an Eloi.
UGH.
No more. I’m done. Whether I ever go back to IG and Twitter or not, I am OVER IT. I am done with the mindless time-suck doomscrolling. That nefarious shit-demon is not going to take control of my body or my brain again.
So.
In the meantime, since I slipped up on Tuesday, I had to start my seven-day “fast” from scratch again. Thus, I’ll be socials-free, TV-free, games-free, and sweets-free until this coming Tuesday evening.
And who knows? Once I’ve made it to Tuesday, MAYBE I’LL GO PORCUS-WILD AND KEEP GOING.
In the further meantime, DMs or no, I’m deleting the IG app from my phone.
Suck it, eldritch shit-demon.
