In Which I Don’t Understand America
Sometimes, I have trouble integrating my German experiences with my American ones. This is one of those times. Let me show you it.
Boba Fett Turns Into a Frog
My baby daughter gains exposure to the weirdness of her family of origin.
Away Message: L & D Is Not for Sissies
Last week, I pushed something the size of a small watermelon out of something the size of a shooter marble….
Your Novel Is Missing Something
Since I’ve been posting on so much various and sundry of late, I thought it well to pen for you a few whats concerning writing today. Specifically, we’ll be discussing what to do when you find that your novel is too short. This is also by way of an update on my own Writing Life….
How to Burn a Pitiful Omelette
Burnt Omelette in 10 Easy Steps
Ingredients
2 eggs
1 tbsp canola oil
1 skillet
1 stove burner, heated
Directions
1. Place skillet on heated burner.
2. Crack both eggs into skillet. Add canola oil.
3. Scramble eggs (because scrambled eggs are what you intended to cook in the first place).
4. Walk away.
5. Sit down at computer and look at Twitter.
6. Smell something funny.
7. “Run” to kitchen (except that you can’t run because you’re 39 weeks pregnant and everything hurts).
8. Observe “pitiful omelette” smoking in skillet in place of scrambled eggs.
9. Scrape pitiful omelette into trash can.
10. Repeat from Step 1, omitting Steps 4-10.
Iñigo Montoya: You Keep Using That Word
Reality, Iñigo Montoya, and the definition of “is.”
OPINIONS WANTED! Win free books!
I’m giving away free copies of my future novel! Come see how you can win one or *gasp* two!
Would you PLEASE do me this favor?
What the title says.
Mahwige…Dat Bwessed Awwangement
Marriage is funny sometimes.
I’ve never been suicidal. Not really. But.
In case the title of this post doesn’t serve as adequate warning, please note that this post concerns suicide. If reading about suicide is a trigger for you for suicidal thoughts, please don’t read this. Call 800-273-TALK or visit http://take5tosavelives.org.