Hi, my name is Courtney, and I’m a carrot-buy-aholic.

Me: So, umm…I think I have a problem.

Ed: What?

Me: I bought carrots today.

Ed: …

Me: Two different kinds.

Ed: …

Me: A package of baby-cut carrots and a package of frozen, sliced ones.

Ed: …

Me: Sliced like Ruffles potato chips.

Ed: You know we already had carrots in the fridge, right?

Me: I realized that later.

Ed: We didn’t need any more carrots.

Me: I know that now. That’s why I’m saying I have a problem. Like with nail polish.

Ed: Nail polish.

Me: Yeah. I go to the store, I feel like I need to buy nail polish. That’s why I have so much of it. It’s the same with the carrots.

Ed: We didn’t need any more carrots.

Me: It’s like a compulsion. I go to the store, I have to buy carrots.

Ed: …

Me: Buying carrots. It’s a sickness. I need help. I need Carrots Anonymous.

Ed: A little K.A., huh?

Me: Well, we’re speaking English, not German, so it would be “C.A.,” but yes.

Ed: Oh, yeah. That’s spelled with a “C” in English.

Me: I have to go now. I have to find a place for all the carrots.

Fling this post into the ether of internetted winds, that it might implant itself in a bazillion other consciousnesses and hasten the onset of my world dominion. ...Wait -- did I say that out loud?Buffer this page
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