This was my Writing Life before I had a baby. BEHOLD.

Once upon a time, I was a full-time writer. Now that I’ve had a baby and that baby keeps learning to do all these cramazing things like crawl and wave and pilfer, my writing time is limited IN THE EXTREME.

In fact, I should be noveling right now intead of blogging. But lately, anytime I open the document of my work-in-progress (Elevator People), my brain turns to mush. I try to think words, and all I get is BLURGLEMAMJUFLOOBELSCHNITZEN.

*sigh*

Anyway, I thought I’d have some fun at my own expense, so I looked up this DAY IN THE LIFE OF COURTNEY that I jotted down once upon a writing time. This was what my life looked like back when I was still writing full-time. I hope it’s as meaningful and paradigm-shifting for you as it is for me.

8:00-8:30 Get up. Lately, this has taken place 1-2 hours later than noted here, but who’s counting.

8:30-9:00 Check online stuff. Messages, email, Facebook, Twitter, what-hast-thou. Sometimes, this takes 45 minutes, but who’s counting.

9:00-10:15ish Prepare and eat breakfast while reading something not on the computer.

10:30ish Sit down at computer to start writing.

11:00 Force self to stop editing the results of previous day’s writing. Start writing for real.

11:03 Go to bathroom. Get cleaned up for the day.

11:30 Pet cat. Get something to drink. Wonder why that line of dialogue reads janky.

11:31-11:36 Really get down to writing.

11:37-12:00 Check Facebook. Reply to comments. Look up something on Wikipedia. Read Twitter feed. Possibly reply to tweets.

12:01-12:25 Typing, leaning back in chair, backspacing, typing some more, turning around to fix back of chair, typing some more, reading aloud, deleting everything written today.

12:26 Check Twitter.

12:40 Wander into kitchen to check fridge for anything. Anything at all. Ponder whether or not Character X should just die and get out of the way.

12:43 Return to office with drink and stand there, staring at computer screen. Computer screen stares malevolently back.

12:44 Coo over cat and re-write scene in head.

12:45-12:55 Re-type scene with improvements, taking previous day’s writing into account.

12:56-1:05 Find favorite funny scene and read aloud, giggling.

1:06-1:30 Check online stuff.

1:31-2:30 Prepare and eat lunch while reading something not on computer. Go to bathroom.

2:31-2:40 Check Twitter. Retweet ALL THE THINGS. Ruminate on the benefits of moving on to a different scene and leaving current one alone until the Apocalypse.

2:41-3:00 Re-read everything written today. Write one line of dialogue and delete it. Copy and paste dialogue from Chapter 11 into Chapter 6.

3:01-3:45 Fix glaring plot hole in Chapter 6.

3:46-4:10 Check Facebook. Resist temptation to scrap everything written today.

4:11-4:30 Speed-type. Pass “Go,” collect 200 metaphorical dollars.

4:30-6:00 Housework, optional cooking, errands, bills, other such.

6:01 Return to office

6:02-6:21 Speed-write amazing plot twist that popped into existence and hope the sudden mania is sated before the husband walks in the door.

And that’s it, folks. That’s the nutty life that I miss, even though I don’t regret a single moment with my Itty Bitty. The Writing Life will be waiting for me when she needs me less. And I’m okay with that.