the one where i got a tattoo

There was a time when I loathed tattoos.

This was when I was still my fearful child self, my anxiety-ridden teen self, and my superconfused young adult self. Anything different was terrifying.

I know.
Welcome To Humanness, right?

People with tattoos intimidated the shit out of me. Remember, this was Germany in the ’80s and ’90s, which meant most tattooed people I saw were punks and otherwise rebels-without-apparent-cause. I knew, I just *KNEW* they were all bad news, the lot of them. I associated tattoos with smoke-choked, drug-infested back alleys and, for some reason, mangy dogs. When we were 17, my friend Elpida (she started life as a Greek-Yugoslavian with Germany citizenship, but by this time she was Greek-Croatian) said she wanted to get a tattoo, and I was horror-stricken.

I don’t remember exactly what changed, but by the time I was 25, I wanted one too.

Oh, I should mention that because my family went to church primarily with American military members, I did see the occasional soldier or airman (I didn’t know any women in the Air Force) with tattoos, but in my supercondescension, I considered them merely misguided instead of frightening.

Also, I was exposed to a few Christians over the years who considered tattoos sinful because “the Bible clearly says.” But even back then, I noted very distinctly that they neither avoided shrimp and pork, nor did they ritualistically rid their homes of mold and yeast. They practiced a quite obvious not-sacrificing-of-animals, too. Hmmmm.

So, fast-forward (there’s a dating-myself phrase) to me at 25, and I’ve decided I really want a tattoo. Long story short and for many reasons, I put it off for 20 years.

And now I have one. And this is it.

Some of you will recognize it: I believe it made the social media rounds about ten years ago or so. It’s a monogram of all the letters of the English alphabet, plus numerals 0-9. I added the little dots to the design for the Umlaute in German: Ä, Ö, and Ü. (Missing is the ß, but since its usage was widely reduced in 1995, I decided to leave it out.)

Thus, I can say that I have every book written in English and German tattooed on my arm. < cue wild celebrating >

I really could not be happier with this. It catches my eye and surprises me every few hours, but still…. It feels so right. When I sit still and look at it, I feel like I have always had it, even though it’s only been there less than three days.

I feel like it has always been right there on my arm — it’s just that now, other people can see it.

SUPER IMPORTANT: shoutout to my tattoo artist, Lazlow at Black Magic. He was so accommodating and friendly, and open to all of my many questions. He made it a great first tattoo experience, and I truly appreciate him.

Yay! I have a tattoo! And it is so ME! < happy dance >