an apostrophe and a writing update

So. I recently had an epiphany. Lightning struck my brain, as an infamous hook-handed fellow once proclaimed.

For years, I’ve said that I wanted to blog more frequently. Regularly, even. Hell, I’d even settle for semi-regularly. But no matter how much I want it, I never seem to able to remember to do it. Other writings are far more sparkly, and they catch my attention far more often and intensely than my poor ol’ neglected blog does.

Thus, I’ve started asking myself: do I truly want to blog more? Or am I merely enjoying the fantasy of steadily producing long-form wordsmithyings on the internet? But if, instead of telling myself that I harbor this desire, I actually do harbor it — then what is preventing me from doing The Thing??

The answer — aka the lightning strike: the conscious desire to blog strikes me far more often than I’ve realized…but the barrier is my ADHD-born perfectionism. Perfectionism tells me that all of the things I want to blog about must be complete thoughts contained in one post, and each post must end with an identifiable conclusion. Basically, I’ve had an inner university professor telling me not to submit the essay until it’s in its final form. I don’t dare turn in even a draft of merely-finished work, much less a rough draft.

I’m not sure when Inner Uni Prof started showing up, but I do know she didn’t always affect my blogging. Plenty of stuff on this blog is messy, unfinished, and meandering. Most of my posts have been me getting stuff out of my head so I can process it — because I can’t really think through things (read: lifetheuniverseandeverything) properly until I’ve verbalized it all. (This, I’ve recently learned, is also typical of ADHD brains.)

Anyway, the result of the aforementioned lightning is that I’ve decided to go for it. When I have something to write about, I’m gonna write about it. Even if it’s incomplete (because it always will be anyway, no matter how I polish it). Even if it’s messy. Even if I chronically meander and word-vomit. If a thought is incomplete when I hit “post,” then I can pick it up another time.

Simple. Too simple for me to have seen before now. Forest, meet trees.

So there ya go. Expect more posts here. BUT DON’T EXPECT REASON, LOGIC, AND COMPREHENSIBILITY. I MAKE NO PROMISES.
*kiss kiss!*

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writing update

Since earlier this year, I have completed the initial drafts two short stories and the second draft of a novel.

The short stories are “Flesh Carnival” (horror involving — you’ll never guess! — a carnival) and “The Defiler and the Void” (sword & sorcery).

“Flesh Carnival” is the tale of small-town, soon-to-be high school grad Bel (narrating in 1st person) and her two best friends Colette and Frenchie (Bel’s jerkwad ex and Colette’s current boyfriend); the weird vibe Bel gets from the new carnival in town; the secret all three of them are desperate to protect, which Bel endangers by not going the hell along with Frenchie and Col; the strange disappearance of townsfolk, all of whom turn up at the carnival; mild sociopathy; gore; hard choices; friendship; family; and twisted endings.

I don’t yet know at what point I’ll release the story — I need final feedback from a beta reader first, and then there’ll be further revising/rewriting. I’d like to pub it in a horror collection, but I’ll need more horror stories first. So we’ll have to be quite some distance down this writerly road before publication can happen.

“The Defiler and the Void” takes place in my Light-Walkers Universe — on the other side of the continent from where nearly all of my LW stories have taken place thus far. Background: a few years ago, I finished the first draft of a novel with the working title Return of the Pelegrin. (The title has changed to Wayfarer (Watchful Dragons, #1) since then.) In this novel, we meet a supporting character named Freyta Cnehtsdotir. She’s weaponsmaster to the ruling court of the western island Tyr Atalia. By the end of the novel, Freyta has received some closure concerning a past tragedy, and now she’s ready to go adventuring.

That’s where “Defiler & Void” comes in. Together with her cat-like companion Qati, Freyta has arrived on the mainland to investigate the ancestral temple that, according to clan legend, was dedicated as magical protection for Tyr Atalia from afar. The history of the island and the events of Wayfarer make it clear that the magic either failed a long time ago or never existed. What Freyta didn’t count on was coming face-to-face with Tyr Atalia’s most ancient enemy right in the heart of what her clan holds most sacred.

This elevator pitch really sucks. But I’m not gonna fix it.

More later!